


Sleepless Nights

by chelouis



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: First Meeting, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, coming out kinda? but it's not a major topic, it's no angst tho, mentions of bipolar disorder, mentions of insomnia, they just fall in love with each other really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 00:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20000662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelouis/pseuds/chelouis
Summary: "I can’t sleep so I take walks really late at night and one day I saw you playing football all alone at 4am so I decided to join and now it’s a thing."orLucas and Eliott search for a way to get through the night and might just find it in each other.





	Sleepless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this to ro and lily. Thank you to ro for looking out of her window at 4am, without that this story would not exist and thank you for being my favorite clowns.

Sleep seems like such a normal thing, something ever human needs, something every human does every night. Recently though, Lucas was lucky if he even got 3 hours of sleep at night. All the emotions and stress creeped their way into his mind at night and wouldn’t leave him alone. His life was just one big mess right now: his mum’s depression became worse, his dad cared even less than he already had, he couldn’t keep up with any course at uni and on top of all that he was living a lie in front of all the people he cared about because he was too scared to tell them he’s gay. It was hard enough to deal with all of it during the day, but at night it got almost unbearable. Some nights he could sleep, some nights he couldn’t. Tonight was another restless night for Lucas, he had visited his mum only to find his dad there with divorce papers in his hands, so his mind thought reminding Lucas of all the happy times they’ve had as a family and how fast everything broke apart in the end was a good thing for him to think about at 2am.

Usually Lucas just stayed in his bed, waiting to fall asleep somehow, sometimes he would quietly sneak into the living room because maybe he could fall asleep on the sofa, it was worth a try. Sometimes he found Mika or Lisa or both there still watching TV and he would join them, sometimes he would just sit at the window and stare out into the night sky and sometimes even the sunrise. Only on a few occasions had he ever left the flat during the night, those were usually the nights after he had a particularly bad day or just felt so wide awake, he couldn’t even sit still anymore. He would mindlessly wander through the streets of Paris for a while. After today’s events it didn’t even surprise Lucas anymore when he found himself putting on his shoes, grabbing his keys and trying to not wake either of his flatmates at 4am while sneaking out of the door.

When he finally got outside, he instinctively took one deep breath in and out before starting to walk. Breathing in some fresh air and just focusing on his legs, on walking, distracted him at least a tiny bit from the storm that was going on inside his head. He was never much of a fan of just walking around somewhere for long, but it was ten times better than lying in bed getting consumed and overwhelmed by his own thoughts. He didn’t really have a plan where to go tonight, it didn’t really matter anyway, so his legs just took him to the closest park.

His eyes were so focused on the ground, his mind so focused on not thinking about anything at all, that he didn’t realise the football rolling towards him, stopping directly in front of his feet.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t see you walking there.”, Lucas heard a voice say, and for the first time since he entered the park, he looked up from the ground only to gaze into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Well as far as he can judge in the poorly lit park, they are the most beautiful. Why did it have to be so dark right now?

“Oh-uhm yeah don’t worry. At least it didn’t hit me in the face, right?”, Lucas stuttered, too fixated on the boy’s eyes to form any real coherent thought.

The taller boy laughed in response and if Lucas hadn’t already been captivated by his eyes he sure would have been by his laugh and especially his smile. “I wouldn’t even dare to hurt that pretty face of yours.”. All of a sudden it didn’t seem so bad anymore that it was dark outside because his face just turned into the brightest red you could possibly imagine, maybe even worse. Definitely worse.

“Anyway…I’ll let you get back to your… very concentrated walking.”, the boy said mockingly while picking up his football.

Lucas had originally planned to just be alone, walk around for a while with no direction just to clear his mind. That plan was thrown overboard as soon as he looked into those pretty eyes just a few seconds ago and before he knew it, he heard himself ask the boy, who was about to turn around and walk away from him: “Why are you even playing football alone in the middle of the night?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Why are you here all alone doing…whatever it is you’re doing?”

“I asked first.”, Lucas said with a slight smile on his lips.

“Fair enough. I just couldn’t sleep, and I thought being out here in fresh air and playing a bit of football was a more useful thing to do with my time. What about you?”, the boy answered smiling back at Lucas.

“The same kinda, I’ve got a lot going on lately which makes falling asleep a little bit of a challenge…anyway you don’t care about my sad life story and I should probably head back home.”, Lucas said while trying not to look at the other boy. “Yeah sure, but just so you know I wouldn’t mind listening to your sad life story. And if you can’t fall asleep again tomorrow, you’re welcome to join me to play a little bit of football. I’ll probably be here again tomorrow and it’s more fun to play together.”

“We don’t even know each other’s names and you would listen to my life story?”

It was true, they had never met before and they didn’t know each other’s names, the only thing Lucas knew that for some reason everything the boy did, every little smile or movement had him absolutely captivated. For the first time that night, or any night before this for that matter, his mind was not consumed by his own depressing thoughts but rather by this fascinating boy in front of him.

“Eliott. My name’s Eliott.”

“Lucas.”

“Well then, see you tomorrow, _Lucas._ ”

And with that Eliott turned around and started kicking the ball in front of his feet but only after giving Lucas a short little wink.

Yeah, he would definitely take him up on that offer, maybe not only for the relief of having his mind focus one something else than his miserable life but also (and definitely _not_ the most convincing reason) to see Eliott’s smile again.

-

It was weird really; Lucas didn’t think he’d be that kinda person to feel so enamoured by someone after only meeting them once. They didn’t even have a long conversation; all he knew was the boy’s name and that he was without a doubt the most handsome person he had ever seen. Even in the dark. It was even weirder that during the next day after he had met Eliott all he could seem to think about was him, the way he smiled and winked at him, the fact that he called him pretty and how confident he was. Who invites a stranger to play football with him? Who tells a stranger that he would listen to all their thoughts and worries? And why did he not once leave his thoughts?

Of course Eliott couldn’t just turn off all his bad thoughts during the day, some things just don’t have a simple off switch, but he was occupying Lucas’ mind more than he would ever admit. And it was just nice to have some good thoughts in between again. Thinking about Eliott didn’t fill him with regret, fear or pressure, it filled him with…with…he didn’t even know with what exactly, all he knew was that it felt good. Unbelievably good. And when the night came it was this feeling that kept him awake until it was almost 4am, until it was almost time to see Eliott again. It was not like he would have been able to sleep anyway, and he wasn’t even mad about missing a significant amount of sleep tonight. Just like yesterday he tried to sneak out of the flat without making too much noise and waking his roommates, he didn’t take his usual first deep breath when he got out but instead, he went straight to the park. As he got nearer to the park doubts came to his mind for the first time “What if he was just joking and wasn’t even here?” “What if he had simply fallen asleep and forgotten he even invited Lucas?”. He was on the verge of just turning around and walking back home but something in his mind practically drew him closer and closer to the park, his legs and mind seemed to carry him there without even knowing why. Maybe it was time for that one deep breath now.

This time Lucas didn’t keep his eyes pinned to the ground while he was walking to the spot where they had met yesterday but kept his head up to see Eliott as soon as possible. His doubts from before vanished and went up into smoke and completely left his mind when his eyes finally spotted him. He was really there.

Eliott’s back was turned towards Lucas and he was occupied with kicking the football up and down with his foot, so he didn’t notice Lucas coming up behind him. “Hey, Eliott.”, he said but the tall boy didn’t seem to have expected someone talking out of nowhere and startled at Lucas’ words.

“Jesus, Lucas, please never do that again.”

“Sorry, I- I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine, I mean I shouldn’t have been so surprised, I knew you were coming any minute. But I guess now we’re even, after I startled you with my football yesterday.” And there it was again, that smile that hadn’t left Lucas’ mind ever since the night before. Damn that smile for being so charming.

“I guess we are.”

“So…are you ready to play? And then maybe afterwards you can tell me more about that sad life story you mentioned? If you’re fine with talking about it that is. No pressure.”. ‘He had really meant that yesterday.’, Lucas thought, ‘No pressure, that’s all I’ve been wanting for weeks.’

“That sounds like a plan.”, Lucas answered with a smile, maybe his first genuine one in weeks too.

Okay so here was the thing, Lucas wasn’t particularly good at football, he had two left feet and Eliott had definitely noticed it. He didn’t seem to mind though and when one of them missed the ball or almost got hit by it, their laughter filled the dark night with little specs of light.

Thankfully it was the weekend so Lucas didn’t care about what time it was and at what time he would get home. They continued to play for a bit until they both needed a break and sat down in the grass together.

“You know…it’s really nice to have you with me tonight. Not only because the park seems less creepy but because I don’t think I’ve had this much fun in while now.”, Eliott said. He had been confident up until this moment and now for the first time he seemed nervous as he pulled grass from the ground with his fingers and threw it back down. “I’m glad I’m here as well.” Lucas’ lips couldn’t seem to stop smiling tonight. “And yeah me too. I haven’t had any good days or nights lately but today felt really good.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Eliott asked, unsure if he was crossing a line.

“Actually, yeah, I do.”

So Lucas poured his heart out to Eliott. He told him all about his messed up family life, about the stress at uni and about his secret that he kept from everyone. Never had he shared any of it with anyone, neither his parents nor his friends, the people one would expect he could talk to, yet here he was telling his secrets and thoughts to a stranger he had known for one day. It all spilled out of him so quickly as if it had waited to be let out. And maybe that was true, he had to talk to someone at some point and they say it’s easier to talk with someone who hadn’t known you your whole life. But for some reason he wanted Eliott to be the first person to know.

Eliott listened to it all with such attention and not even once did he look away from Lucas. His expression was never judgemental, but always caring and gentle.

“I’ve never told anyone about any of this.”, Lucas admitted when he finished his story.

“So I’m the first?”

“You’re the first.”

“Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry you have to go through all of that. You’re a good person you don’t deserve this, and I swear if I could take any of that pain from you I would.”

And then they were silent, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Lucas thought about Eliott’s words and how his first reaction to any of what Lucas had said wasn’t to run away and never talk to Lucas again but to listen and comfort him. What was happening in his life was something Lucas thought he deserved and he sure wasn’t deserving of Eliott’s words either, right?

Lucas was the one to break the silence first.

“What about you? Is there any other reason why you’re here?”

“The last time I told someone they- well let’s just say it didn’t end too well. So please promise me you won’t run away from me.” The overly confident Eliott Lucas had met was suddenly gone and replaced with a vulnerable, scared version of him.

“You didn’t run away after everything I told you so of course, I promise, I won’t do it either.”

“I have something called bipolar disorder. I come out here only ever for a few days and then maybe not again for 2 weeks, maybe a month, it’s always different. That’s how my body tells me that I might be having another depressive episode soon. It doesn’t always happen afterwards though. But when I’m out here at least I feel free from all of that for a while. And yeah l know you’re probably thinking ‘what a weirdo’ right now, I wouldn’t blame you…”

“Eliott, you’re not a weirdo, if anything I think we’re both weirdos. I mean we’re here in a park in the middle of the night playing football…who does that?”, Lucas said, giving Eliott a reassuring smile.

Eliott’s smile that had been washed off his face before finally found its way to his lips again and Lucas swore Eliott had one of those smiles that could light up the entire world. He never wanted him to stop smiling.

“I know this might sound weird; we barely know each other but I feel so comfortable with you. I don’t know what it is about you, but it doesn’t feel like I’ve only known you since last night. And I think you feel the same. If you like I can give you my number and we can maybe do these nights more often?”

“I would love to keep doing these nights, too. I told you things nobody else knows and I haven’t had such a good night in a while. Maybe we were meant to meet each other here.”

“Maybe.”

“Lucas?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re surprising.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. I like surprising people.”

-

_text from: **lucas**_

thanks for listening to me last night.

_text from: **eliott**_

always:) you up for tonight?

_text from: **lucas**_

always:)

Their nightly meetings had somehow become their safe place during the next few weeks, especially because they couldn’t meet every night, it made returning there even more special. Eliott told Lucas more about his life and what it’s like to be bipolar and it surprised him every time how Lucas never looked at him or treated him any differently because of it. And Lucas shared more about his life with him as well. It was a safe place for both of them, a place where they could finally share their thoughts with someone without fear, without judgement.

The more they talked, laughed and one time even cried together the more Lucas realised he was falling head over heels in love with Eliott. They weren’t strangers anymore; they knew each other better than anyone else knew them. That feeling he had with Eliott since their first meeting that he couldn’t describe or put into words…he finally found the right word for it. Love.

-

“I came out to my best friend the other day. It’s just one person but-“, Lucas shyly admitted while they were sitting down in the grass as always after playing their round of football. Eliott ingulfed him in a hug that made both of them tumble over. But instead of getting back up they kept lying there, face to face.

“Lucas that’s huge! I’m so proud of you. What made you decide to do it?”

Should he tell him? Should he tell him that it was all because of him? Eliott made him want to get better, not only for him but for himself as well, he wanted to feel the same during the day as he did during his shared nights with Eliott. Coming out to his best friend was only a small first step but it had already lifted so much pressure off his shoulders. Yeah, he should tell Eliott, he was never this sure about something before. It was scary and it took all his confidence, but he finally answered his question:

“Well…there’s this boy I met a few weeks ago and he helped me in ways I didn’t think were possible. He’s a weirdo just like me and knows me better than anyone else. And when he smiles at me it takes everything inside me to stop myself from kissing him. But I don’t know if he feels the same about me.”

Lucas wasn’t sure if he was imagining it but Eliott seemed closer to him than before, their eyes only fixated on each other, their bodies almost touching.

“Maybe you should just go for it and kiss him. He’d be an idiot if he didn’t feel the same about someone as great as you.”, Eliott whispered. Lucas’ hand was shaking as he placed it gently on Eliott’s cheek. They got closer and closer to each other with every second until their lips were almost touching. One last reassuring look and then the short distance between their lips was finally closed.

The kiss was everything they both needed, everything they had both craved, it was soft and tender. Eliott’s hand moved to his waist to pull him even closer to him while Lucas curled his into Eliott’s hair. As they kept kissing and kissing and kissing the world around them disappeared, it was only them without any worries, without any fears. Just them being free.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed when they broke the kiss, but the night had slowly started to turn into light. “We should probably get up before someone sees us and wonders who the weirdos lying on the grass at this time are.”, Eliott said with a laugh.

“Yeah probably.”

“Do you want to come home with me to my apartment?”

“I’d love to.”

-

A few weeks ago they were two strangers desperately searching for a way to get through the night. A few weeks ago Lucas and Eliott couldn’t fall asleep even if they were tired, their minds too busy thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Now, in each other’s arms in Eliott’s bed, sleeping seemed like the easiest thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think about it.  
> You can also find me on tumblr and give me feedback there or just talk to me about anything really. I'm breakalltheclocksandthemirrors there.


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